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AniMat's Reviews - Norm of the North
AniMat's Reviews - Norm of the North '''is the 73rd episode of AniMat's Reviews, and the 2nd episode of Season 2016. This episode received a '''really negative review from Lionsgate and Splash entertainment film Norm of the North, giving it the AniMat's Seal of Garbage, and a terrible score of a 2/10! AniMat's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOFkFdyFog Transcript (The review begins with a Vine from November 25, 2015 before the clips of the said film was shown.) Freezeey Peak Music(https://youtu.be/YJp6SvYkgDs) plays for 10 seconds AniMat(vo): ''Norm of the North''. Now, I’m sure a lot of you have a couple of questions regarding this movie, like “Where the fridge did this thing come from?” and “How did it manage to get into theaters?” Well, at least I’m asking it whenever I look at this. Apparently this is a collaborative work between Splash Entertainment ''and ''Assemblage Entertainment, whose most well-known works that they previously touched upon and are currently working on are the Alpha and Omega sequels. How it got into theaters is all thanks to Lionsgate...whom I guess they want to have some animated features under their belt? I don’t know, that’s the only reason I could have ever think of... and gave the opportunity to put Norm on the big screen, complete with a big headlining actor like Rob Schneider. Oh my god', '''this is gonna suck big time, isn’t it?! Let’s find out. The Story '''AniMat (vo): '''I wouldn’t say that this movie has a story to tell, but rather a message; an '''environmental '''message; an '''intolerably hammered down' environmental message. The whole purpose of Norm ''is to explain to the audience that they have to save the Arctic with some anti-industrialism thrown in, that we don’t go taking these animal homes in order to make some for us! Why we want a house in the Arctic? I have no freaking clue; the movie doesn’t even bother to answer. It results in the film to become so preachy, that it completely treats the audience like total idiots, thinking that they always need a reminder every 10 minutes of Norm’s goal! Or maybe that's just the characters explaining it to themselves because they can be so stupid that it’s highly possible they would end up forgetting it? That actually makes a lot of sense. But in order to keep the movie going, it fills itself up with three things that make the film even more insufferable. First is a giant pile of plot cliches that make the movie completely predictable from top to bottom. Second is action scenes that go absolutely nowhere and are entirely pointless, and three are a bunch of bottom-of-the-barrel gags that would be too low brow for an Adam Sandler movie. Oh trust me, I’m not just talking about your average gas humor, you have no idea how low this movie can sink just to get a cheap dumb laugh, and let’s not forget Norm going around twerking his butt doing the Arctic Shake! Yeah, that will totally make you be like the cool kids. Oh Norm! Your non-stop use of dumb pop songs, cellphone gags and random movie references completely blind me with your tremendous swag! Seriously, did any of the writers or even the director at least care?! I have never seen anyone leave a story so broken by its obnoxious message and unpleasant humor. But hey, I guess none of this matter as long as the Arctic’s okay, right?! The Animation '''AniMat (vo): '''It’s the animation that makes everybody look at this and think, “How is it even possible for a movie like this to get into theaters?” This is the kind of animation that’s to be expected in one of those cheap $1 Direct-to-DVD films, not in an animated feature that was able to be released in theaters! Not only is this unpleasant to look at as much as sitting through their failed attempts to make something that would refer to as “humor”, but this is just '''ugly'. and this cannot be more obvious than in the design of the characters. Was it too expensive for them to hire a professional artist to draw good looking characters? Every human character looks like a bad caricature and the animals look even worst; where the humans feel like they’re were done by an amateur adult with no artistic background, the animals look like they’re were done by a freaking toddler! Male Polar Bear: '(''through microphone) Okay, lemmings, look alive! (Lemmings squeak with excitement) Seals, seals, just like we rehearsed! (The seals slide across the ice and start barking in song.) 'AniMat (vo): '''And with the addition of bad looking textures, it makes it look unwatchable; I never thought I had to do this for another movie, but I had to take off my glasses so that I could barely see what’s going on to continue the movie, something that I always believed only the ''Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs movies were capable of doing. But you know what? At least with the ''Cloudy ''films, I can point to a few elements that the animators did a good job, like in the food animation and the sentient foodimals. But with ''Norm ''though, they were no redeeming qualities in the visuals whatsoever, even the backgrounds look so generic with either the plain white Arctic or the generic city that’s supposed to be New York City; even with the character animation, I could see that there’s a bit of talent there, but the rendering came out so bad that all their movements came out so unnatural. It makes it even worst when some characters want to move in such a cartoonish over-the-top style, that now it makes it '''unbearable '''to watch. Now, I have thrown in the word “disgrace” on a few movies for their repulsive visuals, but the animation here seriously takes it to a whole new level. The Characters 'AniMat (vo): '''So now that we got the obnoxious and unwatchable parts out of the way, let’s bring in the characters to present another aspect of this movie: it is absolutely stupid. In fact, every character in here has very little sense of intelligence or even a sense of character in general. Every single one is a bland one dimensional trope that would only stick out by the dumb decisions they would make. Starting with Norm himself, he’s the protagonist that wants to save the Arctic and has other traits that the movie forgot to explain or completely have no point. Why is he able to talk with humans? Why is it important to know about his love interest or that he’s next in line to become the king of the Arctic? Who knows, because the movie clearly doesn’t! They’re too busy showing off those terrible excuse of comic reliefs that they call the lemmings, who are obviously ''Minion ''rip-offs; all they do is try to be ''Minions, ''but they are not the ''Minions because they have absolutely no sense of quality in their humor. This is why I wish this was a Disney movie, so we can just put them out of their misery and just throw them off a cliff!! And then there’s Mr. Green, the villain that rather wants to be so over-the-top with his movements and have no logical motives to make houses in the Arctic than to be an actual character. Oh hey, Chester V. never thought I'd see you again! As for everyone else, they just have no purpose in this movie, like, absolutely none at all. They could all disappear and no one will they ever notice and the film will stay the same, or even better, be shorter. There’s even no point to name them, the rest of the generic cast are only there to make bad jokes or to remind Norman to save the Arctic. 'Olympia: '''Oh, please, I know exactly what you're doing, Norm. (''Norm and the lemmings gasp in fright) '''Olympia: '''You're saving the Arctic, your home! So I was thinking, maybe we can work together. '''AniMat (vo): '''But believe it or not, do you know who’s the most hated and dumbest character in this? All the extras around Norm! Somehow, New York City is filled with the most brain-dead people who sees Norman as a guy in a bear suit or an actual talking bear and they're cool with it. It’s even worse when they’ll just believe anything that's said to them and are so easily amused by this big dumb dancing bear. Making your characters completely bland and serve no purpose is one thing, but the addition to throw away any sign of intelligence in them makes them even worse than they already are. Final Thoughts '''AniMat (vo): '''In all my years of reviewing animated features and watching them one by one as they come out fresh and new in theaters, I always believed that I’ve seen some of the worst that the medium could offer, that no one would be able to simultaneously present the lowest of quality in every aspect of a movie and release it on the big screen, but then came ''Norm. Norm of the North ''is possibly the worst animated feature to ever be released in theaters; the writing is abysmal, the environmental message is obnoxious, the story is predictably unpleasant, the animation is disgusting, the humor is at its worst and the characters either have no brain or no purpose! I know for a fact that I don’t even have to say to you to not watch it, because anybody that has some of form of intelligence wouldn’t even tolerate 10 minutes of this embarrassment. If there’s any moronic lunatic that would even attempt to defend this with the “It’s just for kids” excuse, may I ask, who the fridge are you talking about? Kids of IQ 5 and under? Any child will look at this and say that this is stupid! I have never been so confident to give the movie the AniMat's Seal of Garbage. Why would anyone think it’s a good idea to put this up in theaters will always be a mystery! But the one thing we all know is that Norm will forever find a place as one of the worst animated films of all time. '''Story 1/10 Animation 2/10 Characters 2/10 Overall 2/10 (Post-credits card: “The humans won’t destroy something they love, and they love… US!” pan to a seal doing a creepy smile. Ding!) Category:AniMat's Reviews Category:AniMat's Reviews episodes Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts